November 28, 2011
Sometimes I wonder what I’m going to do when I run out of stories to tell. Find other people’s kid stories maybe? Try to remember the 20+ years of working with teenagers?? I think I have all of that blocked out for a reason…
Girl-child # 2 was one of the bat-shit crazy kids. I’m quite sure she would be okay with that title too by the way. Funny, funny, funny but yeah, not entirely, completely sane. Actually, she does have a psychiatric condition and she does struggle with some ‘stuff’ but underneath it she is, yet again, a pretty good kid.
I was explaining recently how teenagers gravitate towards peers that reflect their life or their beliefs or something else internal about who they are or where they’re at. Girl-child # 3, all of her friends have crazy moms. Seriously. If you sat down and listed every friend – every single one of them has a mom that is not stable and has big issues. I told her that once and she found it rather interesting.
Girl-child # 2, she goes one better than that, she has crazy girlfriends (yes, she is gay – no, I don’t want to hear any religious ramblings about god’s will and devil and ruination of mankind thanks, anyways). She is so focused on being in love and someone loving her that she is willing to give up whatever about herself in order to hang onto or solidify the relationship. A lot of kids have a ‘crazy’ boyfriend or girlfriend at some point and if you’re lucky, they’ll get that out of the way before they’re of marrying age. Girl # 1 and boy-child both managed to find their crazy boy / girlfriends while still in high school. I thought girl-child # 2 had done the same but it didn’t quite work out that way. When she was just finishing high school (so maybe 18 – 19 at the oldest), she started dating this one girl, who on the surface seemed to be pretty nice. Cute little thing that was bubbly and full of excitement. Girl-child # 2 had a full-time job and her and girlfriend made plans to move in together in town. Now girlfriend was still in high-school but both moms thought this was an excellent idea. I know for a fact that one of the moms had it in her sites to “marry-off” one of the girls as a solution for not having to deal with her or worry about her anymore (I kid you not).
I also remember having concerns that girlfriend was still in school but I don’t recall anyone listening to me.
So they move in together and things started to fall apart pretty quickly. Before long girl-child # 2 started missing work. She just wouldn’t show up and people would have to try to find her. I guess girlfriend would get jealous if girl-child went to work and would cry, threaten to kill herself and one night slit her wrists. Girl-child was doing everything she could to try to keep it together but it unraveled very fast. Girlfriend was on meds for depression, was actively suicidal and at one point we had to alert the high school and get the police and hospital involved. Why on earth did this mother think it was okay for her kid to be anywhere other than home?? And why was I the one dealing with the police, the school, the crazy mom? There were a lot of threats and a lot of issues to be resolved but ultimately, girl-child had to get out of the relationship. She kept her apartment, she kept her job but got a demotion (I think) and got out.
Until she did it again. And again. And yes, again. Some people never learn!