February 23, 2012 4 Comments
It can be a sad time when friends start to gravitate away from each other. There are some ‘natural’ times when this happens (changes in schools for one) but still, for most kids, it can cause some moments of sadness and confusion. Peer groups usually shift around a few times over the teen years and often don’t settle down until after post-secondary education. Buddy-child and step-daughter have really shifted apart and they don’t really know what to do about it.
They used to skip school together, do drugs together, hang out watching movies and chatting (while stoned), and generally get into trouble together.
Step-daughter isn’t going to school other than to hang out at the high school once in awhile because she doesn’t belong anywhere. Buddy-child is going everyday, going to all her classes, no longer skipping.
Step-daughter has dropped out and given up, buddy-child is doing everything in her power to graduate.
Step-daughter is still doing drugs everyday. Buddy-child doesn’t do drugs at all anymore.
Step-daughter talks about coming by to visit, maybe spending the night on the weekend but doesn’t follow through. Buddy-child doesn’t bother asking her to come by anymore.
They have each made choices and those choices have taken them down completely opposite paths in life.
At this point, these two really have nothing left in common. Step-daughter is starting fights, probably to make it easier to separate since that makes the girls angry with each other instead of just sad. Buddy-child doesn’t know what to do about it all since she doesn’t really trust step-daughter and doesn’t even really like her anymore and yet, they’re kind of like sisters now. I suspect that step-daughter doesn’t really know what to do about it anymore either.
Last night buddy-child and I talked about some things like drugs and how step-daughter was doing. I have to go away for work for a night next week and I’ve asked buddy not to tell step-daughter because I don’t want her at the house while I’m gone. At the end of the conversation I said to buddy that drugs are no longer fun when someone you care about becomes an addict and goes downhill because of them. They kind of lose their appeal. Buddy reluctantly agreed and if nothing else, is learning some valuable life lessons while watching step-daughter get worse.