August 30, 2012 2 Comments
School starts next week for buddy-child and she has a pretty easy year. She officially graduated but had the option to remain an extra year for extra credits. She doesn’t need the credits but I don’t think she would have been completely ready to move away for University yet. She has pretty much caught up to her age-mates in terms of development and maturity but having the extra year as a ‘kid’ still will likely be good for her.
It turns out only two of her friends were ready to officially leave home and are moving tomorrow to their new digs in residence to start college. The rest of the crew of folks that she mostly hangs around with are still here. A lot of kids don’t even know what they want to do yet so they’re just not in any hurry.
This is one of those transitional times when friends and peer groups change. Buddy has had mostly the same peer group throughout high school but over the past year in particular, as she has continued to grow up and move on from her former life, she has also continued to drift away from many members of that peer group. A lot of those kids come from unstable homes and are struggling with a variety of issues. That is where she had fit before. It’s not necessarily where she fits now.
These two friends leaving for school had a big overnight – sleepover party as a goodbye event. They told buddy child about it after she had said yes to a camping trip with another friend and friend’s family. She didn’t feel comfortable ditching her friend even though she did want the chance to say goodbye. She suggested they get together when she get back but that just wasn’t going to cut it. The two friends “unfriended” her on facebook (apparently, that’s how you know what your relationship status is with everyone these days) and then started tweeting not nice things. Buddy was somewhat taken back but not heartbroken. She realizes that they have nothing in common anymore and that they will likely not ever see each other again.
The reaction by these two girls was definitely out of proportion to the situation but this is somewhat common for some kids who have relationship issues and it’s time to say goodbye. Rather than be able to deal with the emotions (which can be pretty foreign and overwhelming) some kids just burn their bridges and create fights without really being aware that this is what they are doing. In some ways, for many kids, it is easier to leave angry or on bad terms with someone than it is to leave people and feel badly and sad and lonely for them. It’s not really easier in the long run and it’s not necessarily healthy but for kids that are freaked out by healthy relationships, it’s often times the only way they know how.
So buddy blocked the two so that she wouldn’t be ready anymore nasty stuff and is more focused on what she’s going to wear the first day (and what nail polish to go with it… ).