Packin’ up and moving on

Well, she did it.  Step-daughter has landed a permanent full time job, minimum 40 hours a week, possibly more if she wants it.  It’s shift work but that’s okay since step-daughter is young with no responsibilities.  She starts Monday which means she has to leave the temporary job this week and move on but that’s what happens with temporary jobs.  She’s very proud of herself and on a high right now as she starts figuring out how to save up enough to get her own place.

She stayed here for the past couple of days to get some sleep.  Her temporary job is a midnight shift and her arrangements for places to sleep fell through on her.  This  house is quiet and empty during the day and her old bedroom is quite dark. Coincidentally, last week I took in a rescue dog that is a very nice, passive, well-mannered and very much wants a family to love her.  Her and step-daughter spent the past two days sleeping together on the makeshift bed.  I think it was good for both of them!

She still has to find a way to finish her schooling as she’s not ready to give up on her dream of a university education some day.  Finishing school is going to be a special type of challenge and hopefully she’ll find a way to do it.  I’ve said I would show her how to set up a budget so that she can have a school savings account and also how to figure out how much everything will cost each month but her schoolwork, that’s her baby to figure out on her own now.  She knows she can’t do it when she’s at her mom’s because she’s too anxious and there is just too much stress all the time.  Maybe it’s a matter of running out of excuses before she’ll accept that she has to do the work herself.

This past year has been a very self-indulgent time for step-daughter.  She quit work, quit school and basically sat around her house or hung out in town feeling sorry for herself and hating the world for not catering to her.  Surprisingly, that seems to happen quite a bit when you are too self-indulgent with kids.  They don’t learn how to work for things for themselves and it seems to breed a certain type of self-pity.  You know, she would still be there if it wasn’t for the fact that all of her classmates graduated and are moving away and have moved on without her.  That seemed to push her for the first time to try to figure out what she should maybe do next and start digging her way out of the mess she put herself in.  I want to jump in and help her while she is moving in the right direction but I know that would be bad for her right now.  I need to let her keep figuring it out for herself.