October 8, 2012 1 Comment
I’ve been in contact with step-daughter fairly regularly over the past little while as she works towards independence from her family. Kids need to learn how to be independent anyways but for some kids, putting some distance between themselves and their parent(s) can be a good thing for them depending on what else is going on in their life at the time. For step-daughter, I think it has been her only chance at getting out of the mess she has been in for the past year or so.
Step-daughter has officially moved out on her own. Her and a work mate have gotten their own apartment and are sharing the rent. Each has their own room with a lock on the door so that they can keep their stuff safe and each has their own space in the kitchen for their food and utensils and other cooking supplies. Each has a shelf in the fridge and they probably share the teeny little freezer space. Work mate has the furniture for the rest of the apartment but that works for step-daughter because she still plans on going to school next year (post-secondary) and the program she wants to take is in a large city a few hours away.
Up until recently, step-daughter was also relying on her mom and dad for a cell phone. She now has her own that she pays for herself. She is truly doing whatever it takes to be independent and learn how to rely on herself. I’m quite proud of her for the works she’s done. I know it wasn’t easy but she made herself fight back the fear and stress and just do it and that’s usually what it takes.
As much as I get how hard things have been for her at times and how much of a challenge it was to overcome her family at times, I still tried to be strong for her in the hopes that she would learn to be strong for herself. As always, it just didn’t work. It wasn’t until she saw her friends moving out and moving away for school that she began to realize that she had no one else to make her do this but herself. She watches middle child who can’t hold down a job and who is still in the same place she was six years ago and then looks at oldest daughter who has a career, a husband and a baby and has decided she wants more for her life. I’m sure she is still drinking and doing drugs. I hope it’s not every day anymore but I don’t know for sure. She did manage to get herself a decent full-time job and I’m not sure she could have done that if she was still toking up as much as she was. I guess we’ll see.
And school? She wants to be a funeral director. I guess she has found a career where she can be as weird and “out there” as she wants to be and still fit in society. Good for her.