A picture’s worth

I was originally going to post about all kinds of serious topics but got distracted by some photos I was showing from my latest kayaking trip.  In particular this one;

There’s a reason why this picture distracted me.  I took it for boy-child.

Something I’ve noticed that is very important to my kids (including buddy-child), is the need for me to continue on little teeny things that have special meaning to them.  They need me to acknowledge these things, reciprocate them and then their life feels safe and secure and complete.  It’s just a little teeny thing but it appears to be a big deal in so many ways.

For oldest girl-child it’s her need for me to sing the same lullaby to grand-baby that I sang to her.  God forbid I sing a different one.  Now grand-baby couldn’t care less what on earth I sang as long as I danced him around and made singing type noises, he’s a happy little boy.  His momma, however, is much fussier.

I talk all the time about how kids need routines and “sameness” in their lives where family is concerned.  Same routines, same reactions from people, same types of responses from important people.  These are all things that help kids feel connected (and you want teenagers especially to feel connected) and feel secure.  That security gives them the strength to try things and face things and deal with things.

I might have mentioned before that boy-child and some friends drove out to the most eastern tip of Canada on a road trip (that would be a point in Newfoundland for those that don’t know).  As per their cheap – university student lifestyle, they camped along the way.  Boy-child’s friend had a camera very similar to mine and I’m well known in these parts for taking my camera with me and taking thousands of photos, most often of flowers and wildlife and little things like that.  I particularly like macro photography which is pictures of things really, really up close.

So boy-child and his friend are taking scenic pictures along the trip and decided that for everywhere they stop, they need to take a “mom-like picture” to show me when they get back.  That means, they hunted down a flower essentially everywhere along the way.  That is, until they ended up somewhere where they couldn’t find any flowers for some reason.  Desperate to make sure they had a picture just for me, they took a picture of someone’s sandal in the middle of the dirt.

So, I’m off on a kayaking trip with my camera and wouldn’t you know, one of the kayakers had laid their sandals up against a seashell to dry off.  I have all these pictures of amazing scenic beaches and sunsets and wildlife and a set of sandals right in the middle of the pack.  That picture means so much to my boy-child, I can’t even describe.  He’s so ecstatic that I reciprocated the effort he put into and the connection he was trying to make (however funny they were trying to be).  Symbolic and silly – absolutely – but it’s those little things sometimes that mean way more than almost anything else you can do for your kids.