Funny little stubborn

February 18, 2013 2 Comments

Every once in a while, I get to see this glimmer of stubbornness in buddy-child.  It’s there, but well hidden.  For the most part, she stuffs it down when dealing with me because she trusts that what I’m trying to tell her or teach her is good for her – so she makes herself listen.  Mind you, it wasn’t always like that, I had to earn that level of trust.  Still, considering how stubborn I suspect she could be if she wanted to be, I’ve had it pretty easy with this one.

The other day, buddy-child was telling me a story from her childhood that truly showed just how much of a stubborn – and as she put it – smart-ass, that she truly could be.

Buddy-child was apparently, quite the clarinet player.  She wasn’t gold medal material but she could hold her own fairly well thank you very much!  When she was in grade 8 her teacher was also the school band instructor and he asked her to join the band.  I guess one day the trumpet players were giving the teacher a hard time and he lost it.  His face turned bright red and he just had a massive, epic meltdown.  Buddy and the other clarinet player were trying to hide their laughing and smirking behind their hands but didn’t really do a very good job at it.  Epic teacher meltdowns are pretty funny to grade 8 kids in general and I guess this guy was right up there in the top 10 meltdowns of all time.  Unfortunately for buddy and the other clarinet player, he noticed their smirks and laughs and turned his wrath on them.

Turning on the two clarinet players, the teacher laid in to them telling them that they were rotten musicians and couldn’t play the clarinet worth beans and they might as well take their clarinets and put lamp shades on them and turn them into bedside lamps.  Then he sent them to the office for being ‘bad’.

Needless to say, when they got to the office the principal just sent them home (this was an after school practice) and there were no consequences.

Buddy-child went home, took her bedside lamp, took the shade off, took the light bulb out of the socket, propped her clarinet up against the wall, balanced the light bulb on top and then leaned the shade on top of that.

Then she took a picture.

The next day at school, buddy-child brought the picture in to her teacher, walked up to him at the start of class and said “here you go” and left the picture on his desk.

Apparently he didn’t like her much after that and she wasn’t invited back into the band.

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When university goes wrong

January 21, 2013 6 Comments

I’ve talked before about a couple of the girls who used to be friends with buddy-child but moved away to school and cut off their friendship before leaving in the post ‘The first goodbye’.  There really hasn’t been any contact from buddy’s end of things since she deleted or blocked or whatever it is you do on facebook and twitter.  Every once in a while she hears from the other kids little tidbits of what is happening involving these two and it’s amazing how much she is learning as a result of their behavior.  For a while she was hearing how they weren’t going to class because they were partying too much.  (OMG, can you imagine that they’re missing so many classes?!)

Then she heard how they were coming home all the time and bad-mouthing her and her boyfriend.  (OMG, they’ve left for school, why do they even care what I’m doing.  Do you think I’m going to be talking about or paying attention to anybody here when I’m gone away for school???  And why do they keep coming back?  What’s the point in leaving?)

Then she heard about how the two of them were fighting (they’re roommates at the same school).  (OMG, I knew that was going to happen..  They were not at all compatible for living together!)

Sure enough, one of them ended up back in town having dropped out of school.  (OMG, you’re going to say “I told you so but guess what!!!”).  I did say to buddy-child before the girls left that this one in particular wasn’t going to make it because she wasn’t ready.

I also explained to buddy-child what happens when you flunk out like that (not allowed to apply for student loans for one full year afterwards, the school won’t let you back in for one full year either and then you have to convince them to take a chance on you again and go through a very detailed and lengthy process of letter writing and other such things).

I feel badly for this particular child.  She has a very abusive mother, a father that has nothing to do with her and never has and has had some crappy things happen to her in her young life that she should have received counseling for and didn’t.  She was so desperate to get away she ran the first chance she could get but she really, really wasn’t ready to go.  Yes, sometimes kids need to make their own mistakes to learn from them but the key is having the environment that allows them to learn.  Unfortunately, this young lady doesn’t have that.  Sometimes (like buddy-child) there is value in finishing off personal development issues before tackling other big jumps or transitions in your life.  Too much at once and things can collapse without really being able to put your finger on why it happened.

 

 

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Give me a Z

October 22, 2012 4 Comments

Tonight was University open house, recruitment drive night.  They come around once a year and each of the local high schools take turns hosting.  All the graduating high school students are welcome to attend and you basically walk from table to table asking questions and getting brochures and booklets and free pens.

Buddy-child had a friend with her for moral support and hit up the school she was convinced she wanted to go to first.  The recruiter didn’t really have much information to tell her but gave her a brochure and told her to email with more specific questions.  I met the girls there just as she was finishing up with the first table.

Number one on buddy’s priority list is small school since she doesn’t think her anxiety can handle a large university.  Second is somewhere far enough from home to make it too hard to run home every weekend.  With that in mind I dragged her off to three other university tables that had good reputations amongst the parental set for being small, well-run universities.  Poor thing is more confused than before but at least now she has lots of options.

This process is really nerve wracking for kids.  Even if they think they’re ready to leave home, it’s still scary trying to make plans to move far away by yourself and change everything about your life.  I don’t know too many adults that can do that without having a meltdown.  Imagine how hard it is when you have no idea what you’re doing!  I have no doubt that buddy will do well in the end since she is working hard to get there to start.

I don’t normally post photos of anyone in my life (kids, me, dogs whatever) but since we are on the topic of studious children, this photo was emailed to me so that I could get a good look at my brilliant, soon to be doctor boy-child hard at work.

boy-child at his finest

Seriously, how his he even breathing sleeping like that?  Thank god he’s a smart one.

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